Well have a listen..........these are the first songs that came to mind after N-Jays call while crying at 2 in the morning.....what i didn't say in words,I hope this songs speak on my behalf......As twisted as it may seem,i really enjoyed what we had going but cannot continue unless we are on the same page.

XOXO!!

Twisted....Over and out.

Honey...It was over even before it started

Well i have been keeping N-Jay under a rock ever since we hooked up after our encounter at the club a little over 2 weeks ago.

For those who have been following the posts,this  is the cute little boy that I had eyes for at the club...yes the one who made me blush.

After the conversation we have just had,which in fact  has woken me up to write this.....Here is the deal;A little something you ought to know about me,I don't believe in LOVE(well if I do,I wont tell you but will show it.)

Its been an amazing journey,great over the top sex and an opportunity for me to re-evaluate myself..........The first thing I asked N-Jay is, NOT to fall in love with me.I am not expected to commit to a relationship when i cant even commit to a gender.Things were going well,with a few bumps that i tried to ignore.

To be honest,there is nothing outside the bedroom and all the other places we humped that we actually had in common.Giving my contact info to all members of his family was something i agreed to live with.(but that is not to say that it was not creepy,especially when the mom calls to ask me if he is sleeping over at my place)

Constant calls and texts,i could live with... coming over unannounced was something i didn't like but tried to live with too(Taking into account that my home is no lodging).I have a huge ego therefore i don't have time to massage other peoples ego's...get over yourself boy,I have.

The three big letters tend to push me away.....not because i don't like the sound of it but because I believe nobody can love me the way I love myself(selfish some might say...but i dont give a F*#k).

I am not the relationship type of person...not to mean am a whore...I just love being single and not having to report to someone about my every move,doing and who I am with.

This is not a way to rant and rave.Directed at you N-Jay.... ,We had discussed this but if writing about it here will make it sink in,....I do not want enter into  a committed relationship with anyone...at list not at this time in my life.It would be best if you stop reading my blog now.Friends we can be....sex partners?Most def....but that's about it for now.

But before you do....Along with all my other readers.Take a listen to some music that will try and explain more about me on the next post...LOL!!in this case,(Loads of love)...now we are even.

Twisted

On the down low...

My blog is the one place I feel comfortable 'airing my dirty laundry'...& apparently, I like doing my laundry a LOT.I kind of missed doing this for a while.End of semester exams have been taking up some of my time but for the most part,i have just been plain lazy.

So here is the continuation to ENVY in brief....N involving my briefs and my down low neighbor.

After having a couple of more drinks with my best friend's girlfriend,I decided i wasn't gonna go home with  anyone...my hunger to share a bed  had gone down to negative territory.

I got to my neighborhood at whatever odd hour of the morning that was and noticed someone had been following me from the shopping center,which is where i usually alight......Heart pounding.....Harder n HARDER!!!Heart down to the knees alcohol level changed to sober mode.

Then the guy following me calls out my name and tells me to wait up.....Oh yes...It was my bloody neighbor.If only he knew the millions of  thoughts that were running through my mind before i could put that voice to a face.

I was more at ease when i knew who it was.The guy lives 3 houses away from mine and was side stepping more than i was before he started following me....So... he starts telling me of how much he had had to drink(which was clearly evident)...The guy was just on another level of drunk!!!

I stop to pee by the road and he follows suit.....nothing wrong with that right?....Well think again...Lol!The guy drops his pants to his feet,takes a piss and falls down trying to get them back up.It was a hilarious scenario as i stood there watching him try to put his pants back on....I couldn't stop laughing but eventually decided to help him out...

You should have heard him...his mouth was saying one thing but his dick pointing was saying something totaly different....as i approach my house,the guy pushes me to the wall.(On my sour back from the blow in the club).starts blubbering about how horny he is and how i would make a perfect partner.....

His salacious  temptations could be tolerated but I know the guy had  a wife and kid....but he went on to say they are not around and this will be a one time thing only.Precisely what they all say...am used it but at that hour of the morning;and after what i had been through that night,That's just what i wanted to hear...so i lean forward to lock lips with him....then come to my senses and push him away...one because he was sloppy at it,2 because he has a family n 3 because the way things were going,he had it all planned out on how i was gonna be the one bottoming...a role that requires prior preparation and more giving ..He may be 11 years older but i am way smarter and wiser than that...I THINK!!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ONCE STRONG  RULE OF NOT DOING IT WITH NEIGHBORS???

I just wasn't sexually attracted to him and the kiss had said allot about how he would be in bed...so we stopped it at that...no apologies to be made,then he goes into his pocket,gets his house keys hands them to me and then starts running in the opposite direction.... falling and getting back up more than 3 times.

He really wanted me to play cat and mouse game with him;which was something i didn't have the energy for but i was held hostage because i had the keys to his  house keys and his heart at least till dawn when he sobered up and it would dawns on him what he had gotten himself into.

So i walked to his house,unlock it and turn on the lights as though i leave there,threw my bag on his couch the went back outside to prepare myself to drag him to his house if i had to.I don't live in the safest of neighborhoods therefore it wouldn't be prudent for me to leave his house open,and go home....I had to reason with him.....and what a chore that was.

SeX was the only thing on his mind and was almost turning him into a beast.It just so  happened that i had bought some emergency  Trojans as i was buying some lubricant for one of my buddies who didn't have the balls to do that.....its funny how tellers give you a funny look when you are purchasing such stuff....as though they dont partake of that guilty pleasure..

..............I noticed am deviating.....I didnt wanna use my new stock on him,so i ask him if he has  condoms.....#wrong question#......The guy had a basket full of condoms lying in plain site,right in his living room.That got me to asking myself lots of questions that got me scared......is he that much of a sex addict?STI''s,HIV.....?

He was too drunk to even  put on a condom and at the same time wouldn't let me Top him....Solution was simple since i was the one running most of the show....first and second base.....at least he got to redeem himself with  the great job that tongue and hand  could do on other parts of the body....I offload the sweet juice and returned the favor then we cuddled in bed as he begged for us to do it without protection......Something that i wasn't gonna let happen.I don't get how and why people try to use those big love words with no back up when they need to get laid.


There is a difference between intoxication and sobriety,especially when the morning after arrives filled with regret,you can tell me you love me when drunk but do you really?Tomorrow when sober you would resent me for telling me that!