>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A Brief on one of the highlites when i was gone that's a build up to my next post...

Hahaha...I  came out in the weirdest way to the metro-sexual kid that  i wrote about on the gaydar-alert post. My gut tells me everything i need to know....and it told me it was about time he got to know.

What makes it funny,is the fact that it didn't hit him.I guess its the way i came out to him.....it might take him some time to process it and re load the info for him to get it.

I got to know him all too well that the psyke  to hit on him was concentrated to friendship,something am content with ,after all, he got too involved with my inner circle of friends and once that happened, he moved from being an aquittance to a good friend.

I have read his hints, thrown  hints, signs,asked the rather obvious questions that got not so obvious answers....Its been a working progress and the cycle has become all too monotonous.From our chit chat over a snacks every other evening,work on our assignments together at my place most of the time,going to school together,and me reading him from cover to cover.I concluded that he either plays dumb,hard to get, or see's me as his older brother figure.....

My dear Cock blocking friends have messed up  opportune alcoholic drink with him way too may times to get him to loosen up and let me know more than i already know.I guess that was a good thing  because i eventually got to know all i needed to know.it took some time and i realized  i might be backing at the wrong tree....skip formalities... Just this once i wont kiss and tell it all.......what happened brought us even closer.Close enough for me to finally notice his best friend......There is drama brewing in gayhevens and thats why i want my chick friend who has the hots for this guy to have him before i work my magic

Servitude

Hello blog buddies!!It has been a while,way too long.But i am doing alright i guess you are too.

Why the MIA act?The title tells it all.........I watched this movie this morning and it reminded me that i am a blogger. Oh how av missed blogging,i keep saying to myself that i must find time to say hello.

I seem to have traded my freedom for regular pay check over the last  few months of  my internship.This has led to a disconnect with family, friends and blog buddies as well.But this has to change ; i don't know how but it must.

This feeling of being flushed and drained by my job has to stop. Don't get me wrong,i LOVE LOVE LOVE what i do but all good things must come to an end and that is no exception.I don't get how people manage to do it but a full time job and part time classes has proven to be too much of a challenge for me.

Time is a scarce resource nowadays but dramas and twisted living haven't changed one bit. One love...live and let live!talk to you soon .

Well have a listen..........these are the first songs that came to mind after N-Jays call while crying at 2 in the morning.....what i didn't say in words,I hope this songs speak on my behalf......As twisted as it may seem,i really enjoyed what we had going but cannot continue unless we are on the same page.

XOXO!!

Twisted....Over and out.

Honey...It was over even before it started

Well i have been keeping N-Jay under a rock ever since we hooked up after our encounter at the club a little over 2 weeks ago.

For those who have been following the posts,this  is the cute little boy that I had eyes for at the club...yes the one who made me blush.

After the conversation we have just had,which in fact  has woken me up to write this.....Here is the deal;A little something you ought to know about me,I don't believe in LOVE(well if I do,I wont tell you but will show it.)

Its been an amazing journey,great over the top sex and an opportunity for me to re-evaluate myself..........The first thing I asked N-Jay is, NOT to fall in love with me.I am not expected to commit to a relationship when i cant even commit to a gender.Things were going well,with a few bumps that i tried to ignore.

To be honest,there is nothing outside the bedroom and all the other places we humped that we actually had in common.Giving my contact info to all members of his family was something i agreed to live with.(but that is not to say that it was not creepy,especially when the mom calls to ask me if he is sleeping over at my place)

Constant calls and texts,i could live with... coming over unannounced was something i didn't like but tried to live with too(Taking into account that my home is no lodging).I have a huge ego therefore i don't have time to massage other peoples ego's...get over yourself boy,I have.

The three big letters tend to push me away.....not because i don't like the sound of it but because I believe nobody can love me the way I love myself(selfish some might say...but i dont give a F*#k).

I am not the relationship type of person...not to mean am a whore...I just love being single and not having to report to someone about my every move,doing and who I am with.

This is not a way to rant and rave.Directed at you N-Jay.... ,We had discussed this but if writing about it here will make it sink in,....I do not want enter into  a committed relationship with anyone...at list not at this time in my life.It would be best if you stop reading my blog now.Friends we can be....sex partners?Most def....but that's about it for now.

But before you do....Along with all my other readers.Take a listen to some music that will try and explain more about me on the next post...LOL!!in this case,(Loads of love)...now we are even.

Twisted

On the down low...

My blog is the one place I feel comfortable 'airing my dirty laundry'...& apparently, I like doing my laundry a LOT.I kind of missed doing this for a while.End of semester exams have been taking up some of my time but for the most part,i have just been plain lazy.

So here is the continuation to ENVY in brief....N involving my briefs and my down low neighbor.

After having a couple of more drinks with my best friend's girlfriend,I decided i wasn't gonna go home with  anyone...my hunger to share a bed  had gone down to negative territory.

I got to my neighborhood at whatever odd hour of the morning that was and noticed someone had been following me from the shopping center,which is where i usually alight......Heart pounding.....Harder n HARDER!!!Heart down to the knees alcohol level changed to sober mode.

Then the guy following me calls out my name and tells me to wait up.....Oh yes...It was my bloody neighbor.If only he knew the millions of  thoughts that were running through my mind before i could put that voice to a face.

I was more at ease when i knew who it was.The guy lives 3 houses away from mine and was side stepping more than i was before he started following me....So... he starts telling me of how much he had had to drink(which was clearly evident)...The guy was just on another level of drunk!!!

I stop to pee by the road and he follows suit.....nothing wrong with that right?....Well think again...Lol!The guy drops his pants to his feet,takes a piss and falls down trying to get them back up.It was a hilarious scenario as i stood there watching him try to put his pants back on....I couldn't stop laughing but eventually decided to help him out...

You should have heard him...his mouth was saying one thing but his dick pointing was saying something totaly different....as i approach my house,the guy pushes me to the wall.(On my sour back from the blow in the club).starts blubbering about how horny he is and how i would make a perfect partner.....

His salacious  temptations could be tolerated but I know the guy had  a wife and kid....but he went on to say they are not around and this will be a one time thing only.Precisely what they all say...am used it but at that hour of the morning;and after what i had been through that night,That's just what i wanted to hear...so i lean forward to lock lips with him....then come to my senses and push him away...one because he was sloppy at it,2 because he has a family n 3 because the way things were going,he had it all planned out on how i was gonna be the one bottoming...a role that requires prior preparation and more giving ..He may be 11 years older but i am way smarter and wiser than that...I THINK!!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ONCE STRONG  RULE OF NOT DOING IT WITH NEIGHBORS???

I just wasn't sexually attracted to him and the kiss had said allot about how he would be in bed...so we stopped it at that...no apologies to be made,then he goes into his pocket,gets his house keys hands them to me and then starts running in the opposite direction.... falling and getting back up more than 3 times.

He really wanted me to play cat and mouse game with him;which was something i didn't have the energy for but i was held hostage because i had the keys to his  house keys and his heart at least till dawn when he sobered up and it would dawns on him what he had gotten himself into.

So i walked to his house,unlock it and turn on the lights as though i leave there,threw my bag on his couch the went back outside to prepare myself to drag him to his house if i had to.I don't live in the safest of neighborhoods therefore it wouldn't be prudent for me to leave his house open,and go home....I had to reason with him.....and what a chore that was.

SeX was the only thing on his mind and was almost turning him into a beast.It just so  happened that i had bought some emergency  Trojans as i was buying some lubricant for one of my buddies who didn't have the balls to do that.....its funny how tellers give you a funny look when you are purchasing such stuff....as though they dont partake of that guilty pleasure..

..............I noticed am deviating.....I didnt wanna use my new stock on him,so i ask him if he has  condoms.....#wrong question#......The guy had a basket full of condoms lying in plain site,right in his living room.That got me to asking myself lots of questions that got me scared......is he that much of a sex addict?STI''s,HIV.....?

He was too drunk to even  put on a condom and at the same time wouldn't let me Top him....Solution was simple since i was the one running most of the show....first and second base.....at least he got to redeem himself with  the great job that tongue and hand  could do on other parts of the body....I offload the sweet juice and returned the favor then we cuddled in bed as he begged for us to do it without protection......Something that i wasn't gonna let happen.I don't get how and why people try to use those big love words with no back up when they need to get laid.


There is a difference between intoxication and sobriety,especially when the morning after arrives filled with regret,you can tell me you love me when drunk but do you really?Tomorrow when sober you would resent me for telling me that!

Envy Strikes

Ever since i started this blog,my writing has been landing more towards one side.Its as though orientation is over powering all other aspects.I have been left with questions with no answers.why is that so?Is it easier,less demanding or because its less time consuming with less strings and less complications?You tell me.

This random plots with alcohol in the mix seem to do me more harm than good.Friday came with no prospects other than a lunch date with my fag hag,downed with some vodka dawa’s concoctions before i head over to school for an evening lecture.

That was until my straight best friend called me up for our regular weekly chat up but wasn't gonna let it end at that.According to him,I have been avoiding him(-which for the record was true-),because i know how wild things have been getting every time i hang out with him.And that wasn't about to change this time round.

For the sake of our bromance,and the fact that he was clearly not gonna let me sit in for the lecture in peace with all the calls and texts that were becoming  much of a bother;As though an emergency,I agreed to a meet up with him in Nairobi west.......At first,it felt like i was being judged for cutting him off,which clearly not the case.

I don't know how other people do their friendship categorisations,but i try not to get my friends from different circles of life get too mixed up.Mostly because even if i were to introduce them to each other,they would have little to hardly anything in common[not putting all my eggs in one basket],one would say.Hence the reason for categorising them.childhood friends together,high school friends together,collage mates together,gay ,lesbian and bi pals together,.........the list is endless and very discriminatory.

But in each category,there are one or two who form my inner most circle of friends.The truly loyal friends whom i deem fit to have as pillars in my life stone.good examples being the two mentioned up there somewhere in this post.

I have been told time and again that i drift away from the story way too much.That may be true but all aspects usually add up and are related at some point.I am no professional Author so that's allowed.

.....back on track......I meet up with my BFF in the company of his amazing girlfriend who earned herself the privilege of being in my inner circle not by the virtue of being in a relationship with him but because we click on very many levels.So this was some kind of intervention which went pretty well,all charges accepted and dealt with within an hour or so before the actual drinking began....and a coupe of hours later we are back in the CBD.

It just had to be Club envy....I must be among the last nairobians to sample this club.blah! blah! blah!!!I walk past it every evening  and always resist the temptation of knowing what it has to offer....and this was the opportune time to do just that.

The place was great,music was alright...... what i dreaded though was having to walk from one extreme end of the club to the other,every time i needed to take a cigarette break(i swear every time i felt the urge to take a puff,I felt as though i was walking for miles too and from my seat.)

In the process of pacing back and forth came the first big break  came to be when  this beautiful lady sipping on her dry martini’s with her girl friend, who had been checking me out every time because of my very uniquely positioned  accessories....(AND NO AM NOT TALKING ABOUT MY AMAZING CORK....THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!),hehehe!,She grabbed me by the hand,took her bag off a sit that was being reserved for her boy friend and stated asking me questions about bling-atisation
Conversations started growing from that,and before long,i had ditched my friends and was spending more time at her table than i was with my friends.A couple of dirty dances later,number exchanges and all,we were all over each other.......then the boyfriend arrives.
I wink and excuse myself to get back to my friends and she asks her girlfriend to take a pick of the two of us together, and whispers in  ear ‘we must finish what we started some time soon.aait!’’...ENVY strike# 1.

I get back to my friends who were generally concerned about  where i had been.My bff had gone searching for me at the smocking area and they were  pissed at my disappearing acts which were somewhat  sporadic  that night.

The next time i pulled a fast one on them and promised it would  be the last one ,I went to the balcony and some cute dude pulled one of the oldest and lamest tricks in the book.''Do you have a light?’’....I was smocking,was i not?....dumb and damn cute,so i let that one slide before he started a conversation more or less the same as that of the chicks i had met earlier that nite.What he lost with that pathetic pick up line,he made up for by being a great conversationalist.

I ask him to join me at my table and finish our conversation there since i was about to leave...mind you,I have told my straight bff time and again that am bisexual and that never seemed to bother him.I guess its because it was all talk and no show.This boys presence at the table seemed to be more than he could take down with his cold drink.... begrudging...ENVY strike# 2.

The guy was welcomed but critique and interviewing that was done by  my pal was too extreme to levels that made the new boy very uncomfortable at that table.I asked my pal to tone it down a bit,after all i had only met the guy,its not like i was going home with him....falling on deaf ears,i had to move off the table with my latest hunt.

The guy was very flirtatious and feed my vanity.....this was the smoothest male operator....He even made me blush ..ME BLUSH!! That doesnt happen often.but did that day.He suggested that i leave my friends,he was gonna drive me home if i join him for the rest of the nite and ditch my friends for his sake.Whose home you may ask?....fill that blank for yourself.ENVY strike# 3

Boys have become so much easior to mess with.He did leave a very big impression but  i need an even bigger challange.If he is as much of a smooth operator when sober,al consider it....saved his name and number.for now he goes into the waiting list.I plucked off a paper from  my pocket notebook  and pulled a Carly rae jepsen on him....”hey i just met you,and this is crazy,but here is my number,so call me maybe!’’ and slipped it in his pocket...and yes i did in fact fill the hard on.It wasn't my intention to leave him high and dry but this was my day with my bffs.Or so i thought.

I get back to my table,dance and sing along to a few songs with my bf’s girlfriend and a fevered rounds later,she leans over to ask me which of the two tricks am taking home...i smile back and say ‘’none,today wasnt about that,am with you guys.”....her smile instantly  turns into a warning facial expression .MY BFF punches me smack in the middle of my spine almost dropping me to the ground....and tries to grab hold of his girl friend  who pushes him away and helps me up as my “BFF” is escorted out of the club by security bouncers.....ENVY strike #4



To be continued.....
TWISTED!!

Waahhhh!!What a weekend this is turning out to be out !!
Did you miss me as much as i did U?Probably not....Well here is what to expect from this post,most likely early Monday morning...... party mode...... jealousy arenaz....Sexperism(It exists in my DICtionary),Who was  chipod by a neighbor on the same block?,and plenty more....love ya'll.l8rs

Gym partner anyone?

Everyone I am meeting says I have discernibly lost weight. The scales are saying that I am putting it back on But that isnt necessarily a good thing. Even though I don't work out,i eat healthy most of the time and feel physically much fitter.More like the one month period i visited a gym almost one and a half years ago

Perhaps, I am thinking to myself, the goal of 65kgs was not realistic one. The other day I was asked by someone why, at almost 5'10" I would want to be 65kgs - too thin in his estimation. I had no coherent answer.

I still don't get how and why people find it hard to loose weight.I pack it on and loose it all the time.Just buy an expensive outfit that's within the range that you want to target,work out.and Vwala!!

The truth is that I plucked the figure 65kgs from the air so I have no idea that it should be my ideal weight or not. I think I might have to speak with a reliable professional. The only problem is that every other professional in this city gives you totally different advice.

Whats the inspiration for this post?I have just confirmed that I will be spending my December holiday in Daresaalam.Honestly speaking,i don't want to work out to keep healthy,but to look even more sexier with my clothes off.

I know my gay best friend is also going to be there and because of that, al probably spend just as much time with him as i will with my family.And if its gonna be anything like the last time we were there together,I will need to be super athletic with my muscles super toned.Those guys are sex maniacs....they can really wear you out.

I will need a work out partner....any interested party,(in working out together),hit me up with an email....we can work out something as the period draws near.

Bloggers brunch

Lube lube lube.....In dire need of some lube.Why do such things run out when you so desparately need them?!sigh!

I have been invited to brunch by two of my fellow bloggers to celebrate the small K milestone.One of them told me its ok to be fashionably late.....Am thinking of surprise her and be there right on time.Its the right thing to do.

After all,i don't have any part time activity to keep me occupied....and i wont rest easy in this crib till i throw some lube into my shopping cart.

Great Saturday y'all!!

I000 on lucky Friday the 13th

Was up blog buddies....and  the rest of you underground readers!Oh yes you!!!I never thought i would be hitting a thousand views with such few posts its.its finally happened on lucky Friday the 13th.This calls for a few bottles!!!I guess the correct way to say this would have to be thank you!!Xie xie!mucho gracious!ni wega!Ashi naling!Asanteni!for reading about my not so twisted life....... it gets better .

Last Thursday i bumped into  a girl from pangani that i dated for 2 months before we lost contact on my last year  of high school.She looked breath breathtakingly hot and was very fast in letting  me know  that she is in a loving relationship with some Ethiopian guy(which i didn't really care about!!) After opening my bag of old tricks and flirting for while,....I reminded her of our unfinished business.A candle that had been lit and never switched off,the undone deed....... which i hopped we could actualise during this cold season and close that chapter of  our lives.There was no harm in trying my luck,right!!

I am a very  impatient man and hate late comers.unless of-course its me.In that case, wont  just being late,I arrive fashionably late!!.As stated in some prior post,I have  eagerly been waiting to host my neighbour  over.last Friday was my last try.He was late again.(what to do with him?)...Am tired and will now leave it up to him to surprise me.And not in the same way that the one night stunt guy surprised me  later that night.

I am nobodies rebound guy and certainly not as shallow as some people think.The eve date guy had very high expectations and really expected the 3 letter words to work on me.I was there as a friend but he expected more than he had bargained for.It might be how how gets his prey but not enough to get me to drop my briefs!I know some would ask how it happened the time??It was a drunken dare by a gay buddy that thought such a cute guy shouldn't go home alone.....let me leave that subject at that!!

The pangani chick was all down for it!!So we scheduled a Saturday brunch date which she wanted followed by swimming and  a movie that she wanted us to watch in the cinemas.....cinema my behind!And thank god for the horrible weather.I had a copy of the movie on CD and wasn't about to waste money watching it on the big screen.so i convinced her to come watch it at my place instead,and  later we could go out  for the 6AM  Heineken party.........i don't have to tell you what happened after we got home.Lets just say the deal was sealed and we owed each other nothing no more!!

It  wasn't all that i had expected it to be after that.She began to freak me out with her actions after the deed.she became very possessive of me.In case she hadn't realised,I had very many plans for this Saturday and most didn't involve her.And because of that,my phone kept on  ringing off the hook and she would complain when i answered to cancel my other plans.(plans that i had made a week before i started imagining a landing strip)  and i began to regret why i had run into her and started thinking with my dick....”GIRL!!!!I THOUGHT YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND AND THIS WAS A ONE  TIME THING!!”

She was just too much too soon that i had to cancel the 6AM Party date.There is no way i was gonna go with a freak who was answering my calls as i took a shower.I began to thinking that the Ethiopian guy was just some imaginary character to get me jealous or something.And damn was she mistaken!!I had a date to the event and had cancelled for her sake. Invasion of privacy on my phone is a NO! NO!

She picked a call from my best  fag hag who was crying on the other end of the line and really needed me to be with her and this lunatic started insulting my one of my best friend.Thank God i got out of the shower on time to catch her in the act.No wonder she didn't want to get rid of those bodily fluids at the same time with me.I was so pissed that i asked her to do the stepping ........ apologies to my friend and promise to meet her soon, meant i had to find someone i deemed worthy to receive a free pair of tickets. My sister fit the profile  and was the felicitous party.

That night was marked with too much drama,I played Joey Greco of cheaters for a night and ended up taking my friend home with me where we drowned her sorrows in my signature vodka dawa till she blacked out and i was left with one drunken problem.Having to stay up and wait for my sis and the boyfriend to get back home safe.

The first celebratory drink is on me.....I accept any of the goodies below to celebrate..

 Happy Furahiday!!

straight date...says who?

I  know ways to ask a guy out, where if he's gay, he'd know it was a date BUT if he is straight, he'd just think we were hanging out.MAN!!!! The way he giggles when i call him......oh......if i had a weak heart,it would probably be going paragacha!!!Hahaha...

Well not really.We all have our own perspectives and ways of looking at stuff.For instance, if someone asked me to get a coffee I wouldn't assume it was a date but more of a meet and greet over my Favorite beverage, Its not like "oh shes a chick n I like chicks or he's a guy, I like guys, it must be a date".Thats total bull!!

There is little point talking about a date if you don't know your dates sexuality. Either ask  or get someone to ask for you.Or just invite them for coffee and read the situation?

Then and only then,will you get to confirm if;-

1) He's straight.
2) He's gay but not interested in you.
3) He's gay and interested in you.
4)He's bi and interested in you and /or your girlfriends.

Why am i sharing this even before i finish working on the last post???Remember the my ''metro''sexual neighbor?A problem is brewing in my head.....This boy is getting too close to my inner circle [That doesn't make him a threat in any way,Right?.....] Well that's where you are mistaken.....I don't mind sharing the kid,one of my friends has already stuck her tongue inside there and there is no problem with me diving my tongue into those shallow murky .The problem is that i get bored very quickly and the longer he prolongs our proper  meet n greet the more points he looses on my sexo-meter.

We talk about regular subjects on the days we take the same bus home.I may be reading too much into things......of late,a hand shake almost instantly awakens a hard on......

I don't think I've ever had to have the, 'are you gay' conversation with anyone I've wanted to date before. Mainly because I've not normally wanted to date someone just on a whim. I normally know them a more than a little before that, and it is usually fairly obvious.

We were to have brunch at my place on Friday coz he has mentioned several times that he would like to know where i leave.But i had to cancel the moment i realized he was an african timer because my cock blocking friends had my phone ringing off the hook coz i was running late for some group work  discussions.So our meeting was postponed to yesterday.A giggly phone conversation later,i was being invited to a friends house for drinks.which i was very quick to take a pass on.

Its all pretty obvious, so... like, go and find out?(I hear one of those voices most times)
Or you could just ignore it.

I have No idea how to phrase it. .....I can only imagine it being horrendously awkward, so I am of no help to myself on this matter. I know him allot already, but still blind as to his sexuality.So should i just ask him?? Or say, 'Hey, I want to bone you so it'd be cool if you took it up the pooper'. and hope he is likely to say, "Oh, hell yea!..... Me too!!!" or "That's sick. YOU GIVE AND TAKE COCK UP YR ASS OMG WEIRD!" or
''if you throw in a chick that i like,al consider it."

Either way,i will have my  answer.And we all live happily ever after....Right!!

Half week round up

Its been a long week and an even longer weekend.....I know you deserve the weekly round up.
Because there is lots of material to write about,al try and compress it n write it in 2 phases  or leave it out all together.You will have to forgive my spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.Al look into them later when i am sober.

let me try and break it down before i get to rest this super exhausted body.I attended some top chef competition  finals last Saturday.A great competition with a twist.The 2 finalists were to pick 3 major ingredients to work with in preparing their signature 3 course meals.The twist to it is that they were asked to exchange their 3 main ingredients just 5 mins before the competition began.

Shock was not only written all over their faces but mine as well.For very different reasons I must add....One of the big shots in the event planning was one of those faces you get to see and instantly match to a cock that you think you might have worked/played with.I looked directly into his eyes and he seemed not to remember me.And that was just the right kind of assurance that i needed to convince myself that there would be no drama.

The more i saw him making rounds in the room,the better i remembered the finer details of the night that started of with picking my friend up from the airport where i got to meet his back up plan and ended with me wrapped up in one of the best oral Sexcapades of my life with his buddy.(We both knew my friend but not each other.)

It could be considered our way of ditching the person who brought us together.After all he must have been jet lagged,needed to rest,and the night was still very young.I might have been hammered that night,but his i must hand it to this guy...his blow was beyond great.

My companion for the afternoon had a crush on this dude.I have my way of reading weather or not she is gonna hit on someone or not.Boy oh boy, its a good thing that i didnt have to crush her expectations on this particular dude.He did us both that honor by selling himself in a way that raised more than just our eye brows.The overall seller being the one leg raise and suspension in the air when hugging.......

Sunday.....The third  Blankets and Wine attendance....The very 1st one being in march 2009 at tayana gardens and 2nd one in Nanyuki.A lot seems to have changed since then.mostly for the better i guess. Bigger crowds,more need to keep glancing at your stuff especially if you are in the company of drunk friends who dont seem to care,self made and professional paparazzi everywhere you turn.

It was a VVIP event  back then.I rubbed shoulders with some young politicians, entertainment personalities, ambassadors and such people.It was like a haven for them to interact without paparazzin on which tv personality is clinging to which ambassador and the likes....I knew it had grown to a great and large event.....but not this big.the more the crowds, the less the V's  to VIP's....soon to be IP.But we still love it

Overall it was a great opportunity to relax and enjoy some great music with friends but certainly not what i had expected......i should have gone there with lower expectations.Muthoni says there will be one in Uganda soon.Thats probably the next one al be at.

Unlike most,I find Monday to be the best day of the week,this one was an exception.I was running late for an exam,I couldn't decide on an outfit to throw on,traffic was plain vicious and on the last connecting bus to the exam center, whom do i  meet??

One of  those one night stunts guys.....you know...... those you don't recall having sex with but wake up naked on the same bed the next morning;one of those that you have no basic conversation with,not unless it involves sex....

This time i had to take the conversations deeper and set some ground rules.This guy was searching for pray from my facebook friends list and ended up hitting on more than 2 of my straight friends.(Thats not the T)...Then i saw major scratch marks on his neck and was generally concerned.The poor thing told me the story in bits and pieces of some coded gay language that am not generally familiar with.But from what i gathered,he is in a versatile gay relationship but end up doing most of the  receiving and gets very few opportunities to give.

Thats just one of those relationship wonders that i never never seas to amaze me. "battered person's syndrome."is the name for it.Why not kick the guy out,after all,its your house?i asked,only to be told,
The last time he tried to talk his partner about it,he ended up getting strangled ,whipped and scratched for taking a stand and saying No!He asked if we could meet on Friday and talk.That happened but i cant start writing about it.



Now super sleepy...acl levels back to a low of 12 Acl %......Al continue this  later

Great sunday Y'all!

Am I a Sugar Baby ??

Well,one of my blog buddy told me that that's what some of my school mates think i am.How true is that??

According to the urban dictionary,a sugar baby is a young male or female who is financially pampered by a sugar daddy or sugar mama in exchange for companionship(i.e. sexual favors).My response to the question above is Yes and No.Why so?

I prefer to call them arrangements because i never ask for anything and if i am offered anything other than sex,who am i to say no?

I have had some encounters with them but I don't, in fact,the right vocabulary to use would have to be,I NEVER go looking for them.They just so happen to come along when needed the most and in most if not all cases, they seem to need me more than i need them.So its a win win situation.

I am very particular especially when it comes to them.If you don't look sexually appealing to me when i undress them with my eyes(which is what i do to anyone that i find sexually attractive),then, NO amount of cash would make me look the other way.Having so much money to pamper me is not enough and not what am rooking for.

As much as i may be  attracted to older men and women,I would not date them not unless they are SUGAR POWER mamas and daddy's.By that i mean the Bankers,Lawyers,Nurses,Doctors,Managers large organizations.The creme de la creme of the society (These 5 are the once I have actually handled.....The first 3 being male and the other 2 being female),and the age range has to be between 30 and 40 years of age(yes,there is no way in hell i would  date yoy if you are in my parents age bracket) That is just too twisted even for twisted himself......

I would rather hang around with the more energetic crowd in my age group as broke assed as they may be.At least that way,i can ensure that my game is on point.

These sugar whatever you want to call them,ask for way too much too soon and always demand the unthinkable..... at-least for the once i have been with.

The lawyer for instance,wanted me to move in with him for 6 months before he gets married to this lady he was dating and even went father to ask me if i can be one of those other guys that stand next to the best man at the wedding...Who does that???

The Banker on the other hand told me just after the new country was formed that he was going to check out the prospects of setting up a Hotel establishment in South Sudan during his annual leave period and wanted to find out if i would be ready to join him once am done with school in running the his business with him.My answer to that was that i would think about it.......I still am a year or so later.

The day before yesterday,the HR Manager sugar mama called me and we talked for hours....I was glad to know that she if doing alright and that i have a back up plan. She is still of the opinion that i should accept her marriage proposal.......and she insists that she will keep waiting for me.The damn woman has lost her damn mind.I know myself, and those that know me well enough know it too.[I AM JUST NOT THE MARRYING TYPE!!!!!] [PERIOD!!]........She has lots and lots of issues of her own to deal with.Mid life crisis at 37 is just crazy.Before this call,the last time i had talked to her,she jokingly told me that she wants to resign and Try out  a B.Sci in medicine.I told her that's a crazy idea but she still did it.Now a fresh man in some medical school in China.This time round she was asking me if i can go visit her in summer....all expenses catered for.


And how did i come to meet them if i don't go looking?one might ask.Well, its pretty simple use your eyes and read even the tiniest of gestures and hints thrown at you....in most cases they are intentional and trying to get you to notice them.

Well you guessed wrong.......................I SAID NO....THANK YOU!!..................And don't bother questioning it or the other 2 cases above.......I do thing my own way and at my own time.Is that so hard to believe?Well there is always a starting point...BELIEVE IT!!

Great weekend Y'all.Don't do anything i wouldn't do.

TWISTED

Fathers shitty special

I see you rolling your eyes....I would to if i was reading about it a little over  a week after fathers day.Here is the deal,there is nothing special about fathers day....according to me that is.

I bumped into my old man last Thursday in town and the words that came out of his mouth were, ''what are those things on your neck?can you remove them  right this instance!!''........ my response to that was ''FUCK YOU!!I am doing fine,thanks for not asking."

I am allowed to speak that way to my Father.Who the hell does he think he is?Hadn't he stopped me,I would have walked right past him and felt nothing...which was precisely what i was gonna do.

Perhaps I should  take you guys down our bittersweet memory lane before some of you start judging me.>>>>>This supposed father person raised a hand at my mom when i was around seven years of age and after that i lost all respect i had for him...he dint care that i was seated right next to her watching had he showed a bit of respect for himself back then and  not done it in front of me,maybe i wouldnt have carried my resentment for the coward  man for so many years.

I recall  mom taking me to school the next morning,only to come pick me up a couple of hours later with my sister in a baby carrier on her back.She told me that we are going on a trip to visit my grand mother for a few days,and that we would be back home in a day or two....

That was the last day i set foot in my fathers house and frankly the best decision mama had made for herself. later in life when i was old enough to resent her for leaving my father,She told me that she had to go by the rules and principles that she was raised by and no man no matter how wealthy,and loving was allowed to hit her.(Rules according to her father-"If a man hits you,pack up and come back home") ..............................We had nothing tying us to him and had carried nothing from his huge mansion  not even our own clothes.It was a fresh start and the only thing that we had that belonged to him and his family legacy pegged on us, was his family name(which was changed a year or so later on our birth certificates).

Being the Main man in my family made me the man of  the house and  gave me the right to do as i pleases.<most of the time>with the occasional whooping when i went of track.But i turned out alright and no credit should be given to that father for it.

I have never asked for anything from him,he didn't raise me and has not supported me physically,economically ,psychologically or any of that shit.If anything,he is nothing more than a human bank machine if you were to ask  me.

My mother gave him a second chance when i was around 13 years old but that was short lived.I had a father figure in someone else(my uncle and god father) and even at that age, i didn't have time for this father person....I  had so much hate for him and he knew it.Its no wonder he tried his best to avoid my path.This time it was under my mothers roof and under her rules;a  very good thing... "can i get a hallelujah!''.

I do not  understand why my mom updates him on how we are doing...The last time i had seen him was when he came to visit me on my death bed at M.P shah hospital after a major accident a couple of years back....and even in that state,I asked him to leave.....That ought to tell you something about  me,When i hate,i hate to the core.If you are gonna sire a child be there to raise them and discipline them .''kuzaa,kila mtu aweza...kulea ndio wajibu.''

Moving forward >>>>I stood there listening to all he had to say....I asked him to make it brief because i keep English time and he was not among the to do things on my diary for the day.He feels that its about time i forgave and gave him a chance.....his way of reaching out i guess.I eventually agreed to grab a quick cup of coffee and hear him out before re-affirming to him that that ship sank a long time ago....and there is nothing worth retrieving from it.I might sound like a bitch,which I can be when i want to be,but this wasn't one of those moments.I was telling it as it is.......Twisted,I don't think so.I don't play second best roles with anyone....I didn't cut him out of my life;He did that all by himself.

I think he feels left out because i keep contact with most of my relatives from that side of my family and  he never got another son to continue carrying his name and I keep little to no contact with him.And because 'mimi ndio kusema',I influenced my sister to cut him out as well.After all,we are all grown up.......

He did sound a bit sincere so i asked him to try and make up for it with his grandson....He can not make up for the time me lost with me but if he feels the need to be close to me,he can do it through my god son.I feel as though  all he wants is to make up for the lost time because he wants an official invite to get to be a part of his male ares clild  to and witness the continuation of his cistron.

I can not make time for a man who feels the need to make up for lost time when he is in his fifties...I will meet him at our usual meeting arena....<Funerals>.The one place meeting ground that we are both invited to...He is invited to my funeral If i kicks the bucket before him.but if it plays out the other way around...Attending his burial will be something to think over.

On another  totally unrelated and lighter note,I have attended church services for the past two weeks.The priest is very lively and engaging....Moreover he is as hilarious as (opposite of heaven).He posed a simple question to the the male parishioners.More so the fathers.......

"If u are playing with your toddler and throwing him high in the air before catching  him,with a bath towel wrapped around your waist,and there is a hot jiko right below where you are throwing your toddler(the same one that just heated your hot bath water),and your 10 year old daughter is watching this spectacle,..........Then the unthinkable happens when the baby is in the air.....YOUR TOWEL FALLS!!!!

What would your immediate next move be??Towel-crotch-baby-daughters eyes......Tafakari hayo!!

FOR ME...S/HE IS MY IDEAL MATE!

I desire a Wo/Man who is motivated towards perfecting him/herself spiritually, mentally, intellectually, emotionally, economically and physically. S/He is the WO/MAN that is tailor-made for me.

 S/He is honest, a wo/man of integrity and good moral character,s/he is be open minded, sensitive, yet secure in who she is. S/He is a conversationalist, s/he is humorous, spontaneous, and respectful of self as well as others, s/he is nurturing, supporting and self-motivating.S/ He is affectionate and romantic. His or Her spirit and energy lights up a room upon  arrival; his or her smile warms my heart and surrounds me before s/he even touches me.

S/He understands the importance of being an individual as well as being a respective member of a couple. Most of all s/he realizes that life is a process and that no one is the ideal mate when you first meet them. So if I-we accept each other for who we are, we should have NO problem giving each other some loving. For I know that in time we’ll both grow together and grow into each other's perfect mate.

I know deep down in my heart that s/he exists because fate has placed us here. Now all I can do is strive to be the best person I can be, the person that God created me to be. For now, I am nowhere near  the LIGHT OF LOVE!And thats because i choose not to be.

There is a  woman and a man who made me believe that REAL LOVE exists. They showed my that when my strong tender feelings for someone are balanced by reason and deep respect, I am definitely on the right path.

I hope to find one who cares about his/her welfare and fulfillment as I do my own. My judgments about him/her are quite objective and rational. We both have many values and ideas in common and share similar goals and ideals. Because of him/her, I am passionate and possess a deep desire for him…her...for us!

I want to explore my creative side, express myself, in depth and knowledge. With him/her, there is no need to be quiet, no need to hold back. I will run free and explore life with perseverance, always listening. I know that I now must let wisdom be my guard, let understanding build character in me, appreciate beauty, sincerity, purity…Keep it close never exchange it.

 FOR S//HE IS MY HIDDEN TREASURE WAITING TO BE DISCOVERED…MY PERFECT FIT!

Not yet July

Yes i am still alive people!!

My last update reads Hello July....I was thinking about laying low in June.I haven't logged in here for two weeks or so. I must say,the views and emails over these period have been overwhelming...I didn't know i have so many underground supporters.Mob love to you all.

Everything is EASY!!Don't hate me just yet, allot has been going down and not much time to do some  writing.I cant promise anything just yet because i didn't deliver on my last promise.we will probably meet up tomorrow or the day after and work on that first.

XOXO.
Twisted.

Hello July!!

Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" is one of the biggest break out songs of the year. It is a shamelessly good pop song and the ultimate guilty pleasure.

I find it impossible not to hum and tap along to it whenever I hear it. Check out this cover performance to the song by Sam Tsui. His gentle voice really stood out.


Enjoy

The second video is just some heterosexual boys having a great time.....it cracked me up.

Hoping i will be in a writing mood this evening so as to fill u in on the birthday parties,my new piercings and tattoos,some gay experience that i was rescued from by one of my girls.....I owe her big for that!!or the twisted gay best friend's insest and love story......take a pick...

If not,I will throw in a draft that i crafted when i was....I think 20 yrs old about my Ideal mate (Wo/Man)

Gaydar alert !!!

My gayder is always on point....I have come to realise that when it gets a bit screwed up and goes on and of on certain people due to their characteristics,it is trying to let me know that those are metro sexual guys that can easily be lured into my trap.

There is no such thing as 100% straight.Take a case in point;one of my best friends who happens to be as straight as an arrow and certainly not narrow.I used to mess around with him(not sex wise),but played regular tease and sexual pranks involving me touching him in all the Right areas in the most awkward places and he let me do so without complaining.I remember this one time we were in a pub in town  having drinks at a round table along with other  friends including his girlfriend at the time.

He was seated right next to me and i slid my hand inside his pants underneath the table and stroke his willy several times that night.He gave me a look that was  meant to say get your hands out of my cookie jar!which i did,then got back to it after a while.Every time i did that to him,he would whisper in my ear"i am not gay!"And i would respond by whispering back"I know,...am not gay either"

Something almost similar happened a few months ago with one of my collage mates earlier this year. The boy sent out major mixed signals.my gaydar used to go on and off on him from the first day i lay my eyes on him....cute ass boy with metro tendencies and  full killer luscious lips and great eyes  both of which  are every girls envy to as they outdo every girl in campus.After befriending him,i convinced him in my own twisted way to go out for drinks n get to know each other a bit better.I must say,am a very good listener and know all the right buttons to push and get one talking.From that date,i got to know all about him from his childhood life to where he is right now both sexually and ambition wise.He went on and on that day n evening,that the only thing that remained was an invitation to come home with me.

He is one of those people who texts me at odd hours of the night to try n mess around with my head and HEAD!!I outed myself to him a month ago so as to set the record straight. Now,all that's remaining is for me to pounce on him when he is nice n tender enough for me to take a big bite.

I appear to be bouncing off the written track..........What led me to write this post?? Oh now i remember.....So there is this new fresher  I have been scoping out for the past 3 weeks. I noticed him in the CBD on the my first day of school this semester......"check out that tall,lean dark dude with a nice tight firm behind.".......(those were my exact words to my cousin when i first saw that dude)yes!!...when i see something worth acknowledging ,i do just that. Irregardless of what others thing of me.

It turned out that the CBD was not the only place i would be bumping to that guy.I would apparently be meeting him in school as well.I have never tossed anyone's salad but that thought lingered n crossed my mind the second time i saw him that day.I would be lying if i said I'm not sure what is attracting me to him.

Remember the public wash room post where i said that was more juicy but it was inspired my something else that happened  in the school urinals?????he is that something.....i met him standing right outside the washroom waiting for his friend to check out or something of the sort...so i walk past him and into the loo.There is so much space in those urinals...his friend was at the far right corner,so i took to pissing right in the middle and seconds later i hear his voice right behind me as he spoke to his pall to my extreme right,then......WAIT FOR IT>>>>>he decides to stand right next to me on my left while he continues to chat with his pal.He seemed to be breaking all the bathroom etiquette rules.For starters,he was standing  too close to me.secondly,he was shouting right into my ear while talking to his mate that i had to move back a step so that the noise is directed to its intended listener and lastly,he was  checking out my junk for way too long because from the peripheral view,i could see the direction his eves were pointed toward too....it was soo obvious because even after his pal had left and i zipping up,he was still working on his zipper,trying to let  out his willy.It was rather obvious that he wasn't there to take a piss.

He has this sorta lost puppy look to him most of the time and likes to stare right into my eyes.If he is trying to notice me to notice him,that is something i did even before his first day there.Because my gaydar is on and off on him.I want to understand him. He mostly does him own thing and keeps to himself. So i decided I will start some interactions between us and see what kind of vibe I get.Opportunity presented itself when he came n stood so close to me at the bus stop to town.His back facing my back but he was so close that i could hear his whizzing.I knew it was him from his cologne scent which i had picked up during the washroom scene and after i turned to start a conversation,he hops into the matatu.

I said to myself”oh well.at least i almost tried...i guess i intimidate him.”


I walk to the  bus stop where i wait for matatu’s to go home and guess who i find  there??yours truly!!!!so i walk up to him and ask him"who is stocking who?"He giggles a bit, ice is finally broken and we finally kick off a conversation which was soon to be interrupted ....it turns out that not only do we live in the same estate but also neighbors.

luring him with my charm would mean breaking one of my rules that states thao shall not do IT with his neighbours.....Twisted,Yes.....can that rule be amended??My penis will give a ruling verdict on that soon.

Happy Madaraka day  and Happy birthday to D,B & D...

Round up...

Some time early this year,I came across a full nude pic of  one of my friends online....so i uploaded it,and emailed it to him with a very short message''i came across this very very nice package online...and thought of sharing it with you......Hahaha,what were you thinking posing nude for a photo shoot right after sex?''.......you know  what they say,Karma is a Biatch.

Last night,(cough,cough,cough!!) I came across my own nude pics on the net... (neck downwards).....FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! OMFG!!WHO DOES THAT??I thought i have cordial relationships with all my Ex’s....I was clearly mistaken.I have only posed nude for pics once and that was for my first girlfriend when i was young and stupidly stupid.Oh well,there is nothing to be done about that.If i ever meet her in this life,I will thank her  for the free public display of my toys,&cutting my top head off...All this from the one girl that i truly ever had feelings for.....every other girl there after  has been a meet and comparison to her.

I am an expert when it comes to loosing phones.Yes i lost another one...what makes it hurt this time,is that it wasn't mine. so I have decided to get the cheapest and ugliest cell hoping that this one will stay in my possession a bit longer than I can keep my pants on.

One of my best friends gave birth to twins(boy and girl)...I got to find out 3 days later thanks to the phone curse...but it was nothing compared to the curse words i got on my sim inbox,facbook and email from her for not having a phone when she needed me most....apparently,she wanted me to be with her in hospital to select the first names for them....but clearly they couldn't stay  nameless for 3 days.

I finally found  a barista course training institution (not the lawyers you twit!!)The other one....Coffee brewing expert art.That is what what led me to jump ship and sail into the hospitality industry.Now that i have found specifically what i wanted,I have  decided to go slow on university and pursue this first.Its  a short course with additional skills that i have always wanted.

My sister and my best bi-girl Friend asked for advice from the one person who gives twisted advise(me).One of her sisters clients,a married woman,has been flirting with her and is now hitting on her straight on.My sis doesn't know how to tell this client to back off.

My friend  on the other hand,has a big girl crush on her co-worker,has a boy who is facebook stocking her and sending her nude pics of himself and a boyfriend who seems to be ignoring all her sexual advance and using money to make up for it.

My advice to both of them,Girls,That is none of my business...I am no shrink but i can give u this as the first and only free consultation.....Go with the flow.....DO it,BUT don't do IT.It will die off after a while and both parties win.

I have been invited to 3 special birthdays on the same day/weekend.....I cant attend all of them because they are all being celebrated in different towns.One is in Olepolos the other one is in Nanyuki and the other one in Mombasa.....Why cant they all plan and celebrate getting older in in their home town Nairobi?

Have a great Monday!

Public wash rooms

A weird thing happened yesterday. I stopped at nakumatt lifestyle just to pick up a few things at  and was so pressed such that the moment i got out of the supermarket, i ran straight for the washroom carrying the luggage.  

A guy was on there at one of the two urinals so I went up to the other. After a second I noticed in my peripheral vision the dude had a major hard on...all out and not trying to hide it.

I thought..holy shit!!..and tried to casually get a better look. He turned towards me a little and I looked over at him. He wasn't good looking but not gross either...so I just smiled and looked down at his erection for a good look. It was very nice looking. I realized with slight embarrassment for some reason.....that I was getting hard too since I was just standing there holding myself.

I looked back up at the guy and he was smiling and intently looking my now almost full erection. I was not sure what to do...so I stood there like a fool. Then he reached over and grabbed hold of my dick and started squeezing and stroking it. I looked back down at his,dropped my shopping on the floor and reached over and started doing the same to his. After a while,I was cumming right there in a public bathroom by the hand of some stranger.Then he came too.

I just looked at him in complete silence. He said thanks man...shoved his dick away and  asked if we could exchange numbers.... I just laughed hysterically,picked up my shopping and  went to the sink,cleaned up and stood there until he left.... don't ask why,coz i cant answer that.

Isn't it funny how we always go against bathroom etiquette rules.....And by We i mean I!!....

I have another draft about something almost similar to this, that went down in the school urinal last week...but it just wasn't as juicy as this.....if anything,i should delete it or wait till more meat builds up on it.

 I'm still surprised by the whole encounter.... It was not something that I planned on doing..but it happened. Fucking crazy....

The other encounter in the same lifestyle bathroom,was with a man of the cloth about 4 years ago...YES!!my     young West-African parish priest but that went in a whole different direction because he grabbed my ass and when i turned around a deep throat tongue awaited me......And for that,he got a push,punch and a few words to straighten him....If he were still in Kenya today,I wound have found him and finished what he started.

How do I get into these situations?

Oh well..at least it makes for an excellent post.

Mothers day

I hope that we all think of our mothers today. I love my mama, but like all mothers, she drives me crazy most times. It has been  a long, seven year period  since i moved out of  her house after a small misunderstanding.

Like all other arguments,we got over it,but i decided never to look back...even after her begging me several times to go back home.I consider myself really lucky because even at my age,she still takes on  her responsibility when it comes to my education, upkeep,and general well being....That's what mums are for i guess...always there with you through the good,the bad and the ugly.

So even if your mother drives you crazy, I hope that you still have a good relationship with her and tell her how much you love her today.


I love you, Mama.

(She would surely die if she ever saw this blog.Happy mothers day!!)

Suck a dick....Its good for you.

Depression:   According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND among people suffering from depression,many felt much better after sucking a Dick. This is because Dick juice contains a protein that the body converts into serotonin which is known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills -- suck a Dick. The semen regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: Dick semen can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: Dick semen is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So Much so, the US Food and Drug Administrationhas approved whereas physicians can make official claims for the Dick juic e's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham(Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by suckingat least ten Dicks at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the protein packed Dick juicecan assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation:A huge amount of Dick juice strategically placed high in the lower intestinal tract can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers:One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is suck at least six verylarge Dicks smothered with honey and milk. The Dick juice, with the help of the honey, calms the stomach and builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heart burn: Dick juice has a natural antacid effect in the body. So, if you suffer from heart burn, suck a couple of Dicks for soothing relief.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing Dick juice from the inside of a condom on the affected area. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Dick juice sucked rapidly from six well-hung, full-of-cum studs help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austriafound pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic induced food cravings, we need to controlour blood sugar levels by sucking on quite a large number of Dicks every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: Dick juice can be used as a dietary approach against intestinal disorders because of its creamy texture and smoothness. Dick juice is the only know protein that can be ingested without distress in over chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Research findings in Australia reveal that sucking Dicks is a way that can lower a higher level of anxiety as well as physical temperature spikes. For example, eighty-percent of the research subjects who sucked at least ten Dicks in a twenty-four period maintained a very stable emotional status and cooler temperatures.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) : Regularly sucking Dicks can help SAD sufferers because Dick juice contains a natural mood enhancer, sperm.

Smoking: Sucking Dicks can also help people trying to give up smoking. Dick juice aids the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Dick juice is vital to help normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When  we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, there by reducing our level of Dick juice. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high amount of Dick juice.

Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine sucking Dicks as part of a regular, daily routine can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

Warts:Those keen on natural alternatives swear that, if you want to kill off awart, take a freshly used condom full of Dick juice, roll it up toward the reservoir and then apply the sperm still in the condom directly on the wars. Carefully hold the condom in place with a plaster of surgical tape!

Dick juice is a natural remedyfor many ills. When you compare it to other fluids, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals.It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best methods to obtain satisfying "foods!"So maybe its time to change that well known phrase sothat we say, "A Dick a day keeps the doctor away."

And there you have it!!!! Proven facts on why you should have some cum today.


Dial 1-800-SUCK-TWISTED-DRY


[I had to share this info i came across with all of you....Don't ask where i got it,just act on it.]

Can you keep a secret??

It was a dirty little secrete and they always come out.its always only a matter of time before they do......As i said,they always come out.

As at now, a couple of close friends and family members know that i like boys just as much as i like girls and most of them don't seem too bothered.And  even if they did get uncomfortable about the issue,there is nothing they can do about it.....I have a simple rule that most have come to understand even without me talking about it.

''if am not fucking you,who i choose to have fun with in bed,on the floor,on the kitchen counter,in the bathroom or in the great out doors, is none of your business!!.''

Someone emailed me last night to ask me how gay i am.So i gave him a number and told him  to look it up on  the Kinsey scale.I certainly wasn't impressed at how poorly he did that quick assignment because i got another email from the same person again this morning asking the exact same question.

I will refrain from calling him a retard and  instead of answering back on email because its rather self explanatory,I thought to myself,why not share if with everyone else.At lest that way,there will be less questions on that matter coming my way.

For those who are not familiar with it; The Kinsey scale, also called the Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale.It attempts to describe a person's sexual history or episodes of his or her sexual activity at a given time. It uses a scale from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively homosexual. In both the Male and Female volumes of the Kinsey Reports.And an additional grade, listed as "X", was used for asexuality.

The scale is as follows:
Rating Description
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
X Non-sexual

I fall on number (3 )on the scale at this time in my life but for a long time my episodes were on number(2)....That wasn't so hard to understand now...was it??

My ideal scenario is to find someone in the same situation as me. Bisexual, dating a girl and a boy, something around there. Interested in being "buddies", friends..I mean real friends. Best friends. Be able to trust each other with everything, even our deepest, darkest secret...I had one of those but things got complicated when he wanted more than i could give.

b-day meets school

Yesterday was my god son’s second birthday party, a sure fun way to end the holiday break.Every thing worked according to plan as scheduled,and the rains decided to give us a break for the most part of that day. Happy Birthday Gee!

And because of that,i have spent the most part of my day cleaning up after everyone else.The entire house was a total mess....Being a host can be such a chore but who is complaining?I would do almost anything in my power for this boy.He may not understand it for now but sure hope he does in the near future.

I was pleased to be able to see my bedroom carpet and now that i know it exists,its time to throw everything back on the floor....I like to keep  every part of the house tidy with the exception of my room.For some reason,i can never seem to find things when i need them in a tidy bedroom........[That's just me.]

                                         Organized mess!I never miss a thing when my room looks like this.....

On an unrelated story...Truth be told, i have really missed school( that is sooooo  wrong on every level but it is what it is)...As a rule,i only attend a day of school during the first week of the semester,but  that rule might be bent this time round......Let me think about it....Done!The decision has been made....Time to go watch a movie or two in bed as i night crunch and kill myself with chocolate.

Cops and robbers ||

So there i am thinking  to myself,If this God really exists,then why does he always stick the thugs magnet on me??The internal soliloquy continues  and i rant  some more ...Then i am reminded by an internal voice of how if it wasn't for the same God,i could have lost my school fees in an instance....if anything,i should be extra  thankful that  all my eggs were not in tone  basket. The only legal identification document i had left,which was my passport, was safe in my blazer pocket along with my pocket change from the previous Jav.It just so happened that pocket was spared by chance..
So why wallow in my sorrows?i certainly didn't have time for that.Life was going to move on as though nothing happened.

With all the detective and crime series and movie plots that i follow,I filled some of the blanks for myself.The conductor was not on board when the incident took place,....the driver didn't even attempt to take  off and better still;even with the women screaming like lunatics right after the thugs got off,the police officer at the round-about which was approximately 100 meters from the scene of the crime was least concerned and added insult to injury by waving at the driver with a grin as if to assure him that he will get his cut at the end of the day.

I end up saving the fare to town since we are required to go report the matter at kamukunji police station.Two times in a station in one day was not gonna happen.Clearly didn't have time for that....I had a planned agenda for the day and wasn't gonna let it involve more cops.I know better than to waste my time on that.After all,I had a play to get to and was running late.

I get to the CBD, facebook inbox my date for the day and cross my fingers that she gets the read the message before i get there.(which clearly didn't happen).She was held up at work and Nairobi's traffic wasn't helping matters either. Now that's how she puts it but i  dint see it that way,''you stood me up bitch''!!!...But because she is a good friend and will probably read the blog,i think i will leave it at that or get ready to receive some  bitch slaps....

‘Dirty sexy money’.This was the first play under<festival of creative arts>.I have  waited  till the last show was over  post what i thought of it.I was drawn to watching it because of the strictly adults only banner that i saw on its advert.A must -see witty and intelligently crafted comedy  was enough to sell it ,so i just had to see for myself what was so different about this play.

In my opinion,was that age restriction really necessary?Nope!!There was nothing i saw or heard that a 16 year old hasn't.In this comedy thriller,a model and her ex-boyfriend have concocted what appears to be the perfect plot to acquire a very large amount of money.The would-be murder plan involves the model’s current boyfriend and his parents-the dad a lustful mp and the step mom.But these two are not the only ones plotting-every one it seems,is double-crossing another thus making more twists and turns in the plot than those of the bold and the beautiful with even the police getting muffled up in the deal.

For a two hour play with only7 actors, 5 major actors with the other 2 actors appearing just about five minutes to the end of the show,this was really something.I  loved almost every minute of it.

What i liked most:--The plot,--the 3 very beautiful actresses representing with there great outfits and make up to go with their roles,--how the models current boyfriend really got in tune with his role towards the end of the play;from his cry for help(i saw the tears,the blood shot eyes and the pumped up veins)That was an extra effort on his part,--How the model worked that hot body,--oh,and the nice Decor and props

What was not so good:--All the men's clothes were hideous to say the list apart from the police officer because his outfit suited the role,--being realistic,there is no model who would be caught dead in such a wig even in the after life,--for an18+ show,i only saw one quick kiss,a peck or 2 on the chicks and a whole lot of teasing which got boring after a while....And the mother of them all,there semi nude male scene  played by the MP,who was wearing a short tight silk  robe  on such a shapeless body. As if that was not enough to kill us,he  sits and spreads hos hideous legs apart. (the woman seated next to me got to telling me of how close she was to puking inside her bag)....

And,just because nation media group was one of the partners  doesn't give them the right to have some photo journalist moving around the entire theater taking photos from all angles of the play.Since the place isn't that big,having the journalist sit in for 3 plays consecutive plays would be enough to cover all angles.I got to see that journalist more times than i saw 4 of the actors....so in actual essence,she was part of the play.

Overall,the play was good...if i were to rate it,ad give it  a 7.5 out of 10.For a while there,i  got to forget my twisted life.

Fast forward--The jav ride back home was all house,pop ,dance and a bit of rock music.This was a honored  request by  twisted through the kange’who has tried so hard to hit on me.Am not playing hard to get,I  have let him know a gazillon times that i just ain't that into him......

The  next <festival of creative arts>  production at alliance  francaise  is betweein july 5th & 8th.see you there.

Cops and robbers

Well well well....yesterday was another one of those days that i would rather not talk about*fucked up as hell*...but then again, what day isn't?

I had 4 main areas to visit for the day:police station,bank,unes,and alliance française.
I got up early and visited a police station to get an abstract for a new identification card then withdrew the first instalment of my school from m-pesa on my way back home...now that assignment 1 was taken care of,Irelaxed,gave myself a tap on the back for a job well done because i have been postponing that trip to the station for a little over a week.

But lets face it.Am sure we all played cops and robbers when we were kids and loved the game but once one is in their 20’s, cops and robbers both appear to be playing for the same team and it is considered best to avoid them at all cost.That's because they both have a negative effect on morals.(none can be trusted) and trust is my number 1 moral.

Had my second coffee dose and dosed off for a while till around 1pm,facebooked  for a while and later got to post a poem i wrote about 2 years back...right after my last real hook up.I choose not to call it a relationship because every time i do that,Someone has to screw it up by adding that LOVE word into it and expect more than what i can give.

It was all summer time in the morning then just as i am about to leave for the CBD,it starts to rain. *fuck this weather* how now?????..... I loath to change outfit on such short notice and wearing closed shoes but i didn't have a choice.This is not to be confused with taking them off in smoking hot company... in fact, i don't even take them off myself....hehehe!!If you  know what i mean.

With time running out,i decide to postpone the whole bank and unes plot and decide to leave my school fees behind.I grab my wallet and passport because i was almost certain they would require some identification  for the play since it was  a ''strictly adults show'' and i had made an e-payment to reserve a seat.

Fast forward to the horrible traffic jam on Jogoo road  that prompted the matatu driver to make a detour and use the  jua kali market road that leads to the city stadium roundabout...and what i  was thinking was going to happen<happened>.the matatu got stuck on that muddy road...I sure as hell didn't have the patience to sit in there and yet i knew for sure that we were going nowhere any time soon.so i fold my pants and hop off....

Once i got to the stadium bus stop,i decide to have my shoes cleaned as i sexted my date to  double check is she was still gonna make it for the play on time.

I never got to read the response to that text all thanks to this bus that caught my attention.So i alight,have a sit and just as it is about to take off,6 men walk into the matatu. I study their faces and chills go down my entire body...under other circumstances,i wouldn't even be in that matatu but I was.And with the many encounters i have had with thugs,even before they said a word or chacked their bonokoz(Fake gun designed to not only resemble a real gun but to serve the same purpose as the real one).I was already nervous and frozen stiff.

Yes you guessed it!!!For those  who have been in a matatu gun point robbery,You know the drill....mobile phones ,money, wallets, purses into the huge yellow paper bag with a second strip search after one of their people gets the fast bunch of stolen stuff into the get away vehicle.......which in this case is No 11 i.e. on foot.

To be continued......