Envy Strikes

Ever since i started this blog,my writing has been landing more towards one side.Its as though orientation is over powering all other aspects.I have been left with questions with no answers.why is that so?Is it easier,less demanding or because its less time consuming with less strings and less complications?You tell me.

This random plots with alcohol in the mix seem to do me more harm than good.Friday came with no prospects other than a lunch date with my fag hag,downed with some vodka dawa’s concoctions before i head over to school for an evening lecture.

That was until my straight best friend called me up for our regular weekly chat up but wasn't gonna let it end at that.According to him,I have been avoiding him(-which for the record was true-),because i know how wild things have been getting every time i hang out with him.And that wasn't about to change this time round.

For the sake of our bromance,and the fact that he was clearly not gonna let me sit in for the lecture in peace with all the calls and texts that were becoming  much of a bother;As though an emergency,I agreed to a meet up with him in Nairobi west.......At first,it felt like i was being judged for cutting him off,which clearly not the case.

I don't know how other people do their friendship categorisations,but i try not to get my friends from different circles of life get too mixed up.Mostly because even if i were to introduce them to each other,they would have little to hardly anything in common[not putting all my eggs in one basket],one would say.Hence the reason for categorising them.childhood friends together,high school friends together,collage mates together,gay ,lesbian and bi pals together,.........the list is endless and very discriminatory.

But in each category,there are one or two who form my inner most circle of friends.The truly loyal friends whom i deem fit to have as pillars in my life stone.good examples being the two mentioned up there somewhere in this post.

I have been told time and again that i drift away from the story way too much.That may be true but all aspects usually add up and are related at some point.I am no professional Author so that's allowed.

.....back on track......I meet up with my BFF in the company of his amazing girlfriend who earned herself the privilege of being in my inner circle not by the virtue of being in a relationship with him but because we click on very many levels.So this was some kind of intervention which went pretty well,all charges accepted and dealt with within an hour or so before the actual drinking began....and a coupe of hours later we are back in the CBD.

It just had to be Club envy....I must be among the last nairobians to sample this club.blah! blah! blah!!!I walk past it every evening  and always resist the temptation of knowing what it has to offer....and this was the opportune time to do just that.

The place was great,music was alright...... what i dreaded though was having to walk from one extreme end of the club to the other,every time i needed to take a cigarette break(i swear every time i felt the urge to take a puff,I felt as though i was walking for miles too and from my seat.)

In the process of pacing back and forth came the first big break  came to be when  this beautiful lady sipping on her dry martini’s with her girl friend, who had been checking me out every time because of my very uniquely positioned  accessories....(AND NO AM NOT TALKING ABOUT MY AMAZING CORK....THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!),hehehe!,She grabbed me by the hand,took her bag off a sit that was being reserved for her boy friend and stated asking me questions about bling-atisation
Conversations started growing from that,and before long,i had ditched my friends and was spending more time at her table than i was with my friends.A couple of dirty dances later,number exchanges and all,we were all over each other.......then the boyfriend arrives.
I wink and excuse myself to get back to my friends and she asks her girlfriend to take a pick of the two of us together, and whispers in  ear ‘we must finish what we started some time soon.aait!’’...ENVY strike# 1.

I get back to my friends who were generally concerned about  where i had been.My bff had gone searching for me at the smocking area and they were  pissed at my disappearing acts which were somewhat  sporadic  that night.

The next time i pulled a fast one on them and promised it would  be the last one ,I went to the balcony and some cute dude pulled one of the oldest and lamest tricks in the book.''Do you have a light?’’....I was smocking,was i not?....dumb and damn cute,so i let that one slide before he started a conversation more or less the same as that of the chicks i had met earlier that nite.What he lost with that pathetic pick up line,he made up for by being a great conversationalist.

I ask him to join me at my table and finish our conversation there since i was about to leave...mind you,I have told my straight bff time and again that am bisexual and that never seemed to bother him.I guess its because it was all talk and no show.This boys presence at the table seemed to be more than he could take down with his cold drink.... begrudging...ENVY strike# 2.

The guy was welcomed but critique and interviewing that was done by  my pal was too extreme to levels that made the new boy very uncomfortable at that table.I asked my pal to tone it down a bit,after all i had only met the guy,its not like i was going home with him....falling on deaf ears,i had to move off the table with my latest hunt.

The guy was very flirtatious and feed my vanity.....this was the smoothest male operator....He even made me blush ..ME BLUSH!! That doesnt happen often.but did that day.He suggested that i leave my friends,he was gonna drive me home if i join him for the rest of the nite and ditch my friends for his sake.Whose home you may ask?....fill that blank for yourself.ENVY strike# 3

Boys have become so much easior to mess with.He did leave a very big impression but  i need an even bigger challange.If he is as much of a smooth operator when sober,al consider it....saved his name and number.for now he goes into the waiting list.I plucked off a paper from  my pocket notebook  and pulled a Carly rae jepsen on him....”hey i just met you,and this is crazy,but here is my number,so call me maybe!’’ and slipped it in his pocket...and yes i did in fact fill the hard on.It wasn't my intention to leave him high and dry but this was my day with my bffs.Or so i thought.

I get back to my table,dance and sing along to a few songs with my bf’s girlfriend and a fevered rounds later,she leans over to ask me which of the two tricks am taking home...i smile back and say ‘’none,today wasnt about that,am with you guys.”....her smile instantly  turns into a warning facial expression .MY BFF punches me smack in the middle of my spine almost dropping me to the ground....and tries to grab hold of his girl friend  who pushes him away and helps me up as my “BFF” is escorted out of the club by security bouncers.....ENVY strike #4



To be continued.....
TWISTED!!

Waahhhh!!What a weekend this is turning out to be out !!
Did you miss me as much as i did U?Probably not....Well here is what to expect from this post,most likely early Monday morning...... party mode...... jealousy arenaz....Sexperism(It exists in my DICtionary),Who was  chipod by a neighbor on the same block?,and plenty more....love ya'll.l8rs

Gym partner anyone?

Everyone I am meeting says I have discernibly lost weight. The scales are saying that I am putting it back on But that isnt necessarily a good thing. Even though I don't work out,i eat healthy most of the time and feel physically much fitter.More like the one month period i visited a gym almost one and a half years ago

Perhaps, I am thinking to myself, the goal of 65kgs was not realistic one. The other day I was asked by someone why, at almost 5'10" I would want to be 65kgs - too thin in his estimation. I had no coherent answer.

I still don't get how and why people find it hard to loose weight.I pack it on and loose it all the time.Just buy an expensive outfit that's within the range that you want to target,work out.and Vwala!!

The truth is that I plucked the figure 65kgs from the air so I have no idea that it should be my ideal weight or not. I think I might have to speak with a reliable professional. The only problem is that every other professional in this city gives you totally different advice.

Whats the inspiration for this post?I have just confirmed that I will be spending my December holiday in Daresaalam.Honestly speaking,i don't want to work out to keep healthy,but to look even more sexier with my clothes off.

I know my gay best friend is also going to be there and because of that, al probably spend just as much time with him as i will with my family.And if its gonna be anything like the last time we were there together,I will need to be super athletic with my muscles super toned.Those guys are sex maniacs....they can really wear you out.

I will need a work out partner....any interested party,(in working out together),hit me up with an email....we can work out something as the period draws near.

Bloggers brunch

Lube lube lube.....In dire need of some lube.Why do such things run out when you so desparately need them?!sigh!

I have been invited to brunch by two of my fellow bloggers to celebrate the small K milestone.One of them told me its ok to be fashionably late.....Am thinking of surprise her and be there right on time.Its the right thing to do.

After all,i don't have any part time activity to keep me occupied....and i wont rest easy in this crib till i throw some lube into my shopping cart.

Great Saturday y'all!!

I000 on lucky Friday the 13th

Was up blog buddies....and  the rest of you underground readers!Oh yes you!!!I never thought i would be hitting a thousand views with such few posts its.its finally happened on lucky Friday the 13th.This calls for a few bottles!!!I guess the correct way to say this would have to be thank you!!Xie xie!mucho gracious!ni wega!Ashi naling!Asanteni!for reading about my not so twisted life....... it gets better .

Last Thursday i bumped into  a girl from pangani that i dated for 2 months before we lost contact on my last year  of high school.She looked breath breathtakingly hot and was very fast in letting  me know  that she is in a loving relationship with some Ethiopian guy(which i didn't really care about!!) After opening my bag of old tricks and flirting for while,....I reminded her of our unfinished business.A candle that had been lit and never switched off,the undone deed....... which i hopped we could actualise during this cold season and close that chapter of  our lives.There was no harm in trying my luck,right!!

I am a very  impatient man and hate late comers.unless of-course its me.In that case, wont  just being late,I arrive fashionably late!!.As stated in some prior post,I have  eagerly been waiting to host my neighbour  over.last Friday was my last try.He was late again.(what to do with him?)...Am tired and will now leave it up to him to surprise me.And not in the same way that the one night stunt guy surprised me  later that night.

I am nobodies rebound guy and certainly not as shallow as some people think.The eve date guy had very high expectations and really expected the 3 letter words to work on me.I was there as a friend but he expected more than he had bargained for.It might be how how gets his prey but not enough to get me to drop my briefs!I know some would ask how it happened the time??It was a drunken dare by a gay buddy that thought such a cute guy shouldn't go home alone.....let me leave that subject at that!!

The pangani chick was all down for it!!So we scheduled a Saturday brunch date which she wanted followed by swimming and  a movie that she wanted us to watch in the cinemas.....cinema my behind!And thank god for the horrible weather.I had a copy of the movie on CD and wasn't about to waste money watching it on the big screen.so i convinced her to come watch it at my place instead,and  later we could go out  for the 6AM  Heineken party.........i don't have to tell you what happened after we got home.Lets just say the deal was sealed and we owed each other nothing no more!!

It  wasn't all that i had expected it to be after that.She began to freak me out with her actions after the deed.she became very possessive of me.In case she hadn't realised,I had very many plans for this Saturday and most didn't involve her.And because of that,my phone kept on  ringing off the hook and she would complain when i answered to cancel my other plans.(plans that i had made a week before i started imagining a landing strip)  and i began to regret why i had run into her and started thinking with my dick....”GIRL!!!!I THOUGHT YOU HAD A BOYFRIEND AND THIS WAS A ONE  TIME THING!!”

She was just too much too soon that i had to cancel the 6AM Party date.There is no way i was gonna go with a freak who was answering my calls as i took a shower.I began to thinking that the Ethiopian guy was just some imaginary character to get me jealous or something.And damn was she mistaken!!I had a date to the event and had cancelled for her sake. Invasion of privacy on my phone is a NO! NO!

She picked a call from my best  fag hag who was crying on the other end of the line and really needed me to be with her and this lunatic started insulting my one of my best friend.Thank God i got out of the shower on time to catch her in the act.No wonder she didn't want to get rid of those bodily fluids at the same time with me.I was so pissed that i asked her to do the stepping ........ apologies to my friend and promise to meet her soon, meant i had to find someone i deemed worthy to receive a free pair of tickets. My sister fit the profile  and was the felicitous party.

That night was marked with too much drama,I played Joey Greco of cheaters for a night and ended up taking my friend home with me where we drowned her sorrows in my signature vodka dawa till she blacked out and i was left with one drunken problem.Having to stay up and wait for my sis and the boyfriend to get back home safe.

The first celebratory drink is on me.....I accept any of the goodies below to celebrate..

 Happy Furahiday!!

straight date...says who?

I  know ways to ask a guy out, where if he's gay, he'd know it was a date BUT if he is straight, he'd just think we were hanging out.MAN!!!! The way he giggles when i call him......oh......if i had a weak heart,it would probably be going paragacha!!!Hahaha...

Well not really.We all have our own perspectives and ways of looking at stuff.For instance, if someone asked me to get a coffee I wouldn't assume it was a date but more of a meet and greet over my Favorite beverage, Its not like "oh shes a chick n I like chicks or he's a guy, I like guys, it must be a date".Thats total bull!!

There is little point talking about a date if you don't know your dates sexuality. Either ask  or get someone to ask for you.Or just invite them for coffee and read the situation?

Then and only then,will you get to confirm if;-

1) He's straight.
2) He's gay but not interested in you.
3) He's gay and interested in you.
4)He's bi and interested in you and /or your girlfriends.

Why am i sharing this even before i finish working on the last post???Remember the my ''metro''sexual neighbor?A problem is brewing in my head.....This boy is getting too close to my inner circle [That doesn't make him a threat in any way,Right?.....] Well that's where you are mistaken.....I don't mind sharing the kid,one of my friends has already stuck her tongue inside there and there is no problem with me diving my tongue into those shallow murky .The problem is that i get bored very quickly and the longer he prolongs our proper  meet n greet the more points he looses on my sexo-meter.

We talk about regular subjects on the days we take the same bus home.I may be reading too much into things......of late,a hand shake almost instantly awakens a hard on......

I don't think I've ever had to have the, 'are you gay' conversation with anyone I've wanted to date before. Mainly because I've not normally wanted to date someone just on a whim. I normally know them a more than a little before that, and it is usually fairly obvious.

We were to have brunch at my place on Friday coz he has mentioned several times that he would like to know where i leave.But i had to cancel the moment i realized he was an african timer because my cock blocking friends had my phone ringing off the hook coz i was running late for some group work  discussions.So our meeting was postponed to yesterday.A giggly phone conversation later,i was being invited to a friends house for drinks.which i was very quick to take a pass on.

Its all pretty obvious, so... like, go and find out?(I hear one of those voices most times)
Or you could just ignore it.

I have No idea how to phrase it. .....I can only imagine it being horrendously awkward, so I am of no help to myself on this matter. I know him allot already, but still blind as to his sexuality.So should i just ask him?? Or say, 'Hey, I want to bone you so it'd be cool if you took it up the pooper'. and hope he is likely to say, "Oh, hell yea!..... Me too!!!" or "That's sick. YOU GIVE AND TAKE COCK UP YR ASS OMG WEIRD!" or
''if you throw in a chick that i like,al consider it."

Either way,i will have my  answer.And we all live happily ever after....Right!!

Half week round up

Its been a long week and an even longer weekend.....I know you deserve the weekly round up.
Because there is lots of material to write about,al try and compress it n write it in 2 phases  or leave it out all together.You will have to forgive my spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.Al look into them later when i am sober.

let me try and break it down before i get to rest this super exhausted body.I attended some top chef competition  finals last Saturday.A great competition with a twist.The 2 finalists were to pick 3 major ingredients to work with in preparing their signature 3 course meals.The twist to it is that they were asked to exchange their 3 main ingredients just 5 mins before the competition began.

Shock was not only written all over their faces but mine as well.For very different reasons I must add....One of the big shots in the event planning was one of those faces you get to see and instantly match to a cock that you think you might have worked/played with.I looked directly into his eyes and he seemed not to remember me.And that was just the right kind of assurance that i needed to convince myself that there would be no drama.

The more i saw him making rounds in the room,the better i remembered the finer details of the night that started of with picking my friend up from the airport where i got to meet his back up plan and ended with me wrapped up in one of the best oral Sexcapades of my life with his buddy.(We both knew my friend but not each other.)

It could be considered our way of ditching the person who brought us together.After all he must have been jet lagged,needed to rest,and the night was still very young.I might have been hammered that night,but his i must hand it to this guy...his blow was beyond great.

My companion for the afternoon had a crush on this dude.I have my way of reading weather or not she is gonna hit on someone or not.Boy oh boy, its a good thing that i didnt have to crush her expectations on this particular dude.He did us both that honor by selling himself in a way that raised more than just our eye brows.The overall seller being the one leg raise and suspension in the air when hugging.......

Sunday.....The third  Blankets and Wine attendance....The very 1st one being in march 2009 at tayana gardens and 2nd one in Nanyuki.A lot seems to have changed since then.mostly for the better i guess. Bigger crowds,more need to keep glancing at your stuff especially if you are in the company of drunk friends who dont seem to care,self made and professional paparazzi everywhere you turn.

It was a VVIP event  back then.I rubbed shoulders with some young politicians, entertainment personalities, ambassadors and such people.It was like a haven for them to interact without paparazzin on which tv personality is clinging to which ambassador and the likes....I knew it had grown to a great and large event.....but not this big.the more the crowds, the less the V's  to VIP's....soon to be IP.But we still love it

Overall it was a great opportunity to relax and enjoy some great music with friends but certainly not what i had expected......i should have gone there with lower expectations.Muthoni says there will be one in Uganda soon.Thats probably the next one al be at.

Unlike most,I find Monday to be the best day of the week,this one was an exception.I was running late for an exam,I couldn't decide on an outfit to throw on,traffic was plain vicious and on the last connecting bus to the exam center, whom do i  meet??

One of  those one night stunts guys.....you know...... those you don't recall having sex with but wake up naked on the same bed the next morning;one of those that you have no basic conversation with,not unless it involves sex....

This time i had to take the conversations deeper and set some ground rules.This guy was searching for pray from my facebook friends list and ended up hitting on more than 2 of my straight friends.(Thats not the T)...Then i saw major scratch marks on his neck and was generally concerned.The poor thing told me the story in bits and pieces of some coded gay language that am not generally familiar with.But from what i gathered,he is in a versatile gay relationship but end up doing most of the  receiving and gets very few opportunities to give.

Thats just one of those relationship wonders that i never never seas to amaze me. "battered person's syndrome."is the name for it.Why not kick the guy out,after all,its your house?i asked,only to be told,
The last time he tried to talk his partner about it,he ended up getting strangled ,whipped and scratched for taking a stand and saying No!He asked if we could meet on Friday and talk.That happened but i cant start writing about it.



Now super sleepy...acl levels back to a low of 12 Acl %......Al continue this  later

Great sunday Y'all!